When judgments are louder than understanding?

Why we judge so often (and what lies behind it)...

Sometimes I ask myself: Why do so many people think they have to judge others?

Why is it so difficult to simply listen – without immediately expressing an opinion, a judgment, or a better understanding?

I observe this frequently, especially with two groups—and this isn't a generalization, but an experience many of us share:

Men often tend to assert their opinion as the only correct one with great certainty.

Women, on the other hand, often show themselves in the form of gossip or subliminal devaluation.

And I feel this most strongly in the context of raising children.

Suddenly, everyone seems to be an expert. Everyone has "the" tip, "the" method, read "the" best book. And heaven forbid you go your own way.

Why do we judge so quickly?

Because it's easier.

Judgment is a reflex. It keeps us in our comfort zone. We don't have to feel, question, or confront ourselves.

Because it protects.

Those who point the finger at others distract from their own insecurity, their own wounds, their own dissatisfaction.

Because it suggests control.

When I "know" how to do things right, I feel like I have control over my life. Over mine—and sometimes even over yours.

When opinions become power

What particularly concerns me:

How often we impose our opinions on others – whether consciously or unconsciously.

This happens all the time in everyday life:

– “Well, I wouldn’t do it like that.”

– “Look what he looks like.”

– “That’s not good behavior (for your child).”

– “Well, the child is angry – something is wrong.”

Such statements are not neutral. They are an intervention.

An intrusion into the lives of others. Into their space, their dignity, their decisions.

Particularly bad: When children become targets

Children come into this world without prejudice.

They don’t question anything – they feel.

They play, they romp, they cry, they love. Direct, pure, real.

And then we adults come along – with all our baggage.

With our own fears. Our insecurities. Our unfulfilled dreams.

And instead of looking at ourselves, we project.

We judge. We evaluate.

We tear at a child’s small self-esteem – often unconsciously.

“You can’t go out like that.”

“You don’t need to be friends with him.”

“You don’t do that.”

We pass on our rating systems as if they were truths.

An appeal to us adults

Please, look.

Not on others – but on yourself.

Live your life. Clean up your inner self.

Stop judging other people's lives because you are lost in your own.

Because every judgment we make about others ultimately says more about us than about them.

What we need instead

• Understanding instead of knowing better

• Compassion instead of devaluation

• Open questions instead of fixed opinions

True strength is shown in the ability to stand still – even when we don’t understand something.

And true maturity begins when we no longer need to judge others in order to feel better about ourselves.

Conclusion:

Judgments are loud. Understanding is quiet—but much more powerful.

When we stop judging others and start questioning ourselves, real change begins.

For us. For our children. For our society.